Writing Emotional Letters
Writing Emotional Letters
Should You Write a Letter to Your Ex Boyfriend? Why You Want to Avoid Doing This at All Costs
Should you write a letter to your ex boyfriend? It seems like a great idea, doesn't it? You two haven't talked much since the break up and that's difficult for you. You still think about him and in fact you have images of the two of you getting back together. You miss him and more than that you still really love him. Pouring your heart out in a letter seems like a perfect solution. You could take your time sharing what you feel and he'd then be able to read it and re-read it until he fully understood just how much you need him. It sounds like a great approach to take if you want him back, but it's not. You can actually ruin any chance you may have had of getting a man to want you back by writing him a letter.
As women we have this inner instinct that tells us that we must always share what we feel. It's something that comes naturally for us and in most cases it's helpful and contributes to the success of our relationships. There are instances when sharing every little thing isn't the best idea. After a break up is definitely one of those cases. You can actually push a man further away if you bury him beneath your own feelings. By pouring your heart out to him in a letter you're essentially forcing him to address and accept what you feel. If he's not ready for that, he'll look for the quickest exit out of your life forever.
In order to fully understand why this can be so damaging you have to consider what he's feeling. Even if your ex boyfriend was the one who dumped you and the break up was completely his idea, he still has to process what happened and work through all of his conflicting emotions. If he suddenly is confronted with a letter in which you tell him that you'll never love anyone the way you love him or you would do anything to get him back, he's going to feel even more overwhelmed than he did. Men withdraw when they feel this way and that means they create emotional distance. It's not uncommon for a man to ignore a letter like this and then never contact his ex again.
You'd make more headway with him if you actually did very little in the days and weeks following the break up. Giving him some space to process the break up and what he's feeling is a sign of respect and compassion. By acting mature and allowing him the opportunity to start to miss you, you're showing your ex that you can handle something as heart wrenching as the end of a relationship with dignity and grace. Just that fact alone will help to draw him back to you.
About the Author
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How to Write Fundraising Letters That Motivate Donors To Make
Donations to Your Non-Profit
Motivating strangers to give their money away is one of the
hardest jobs around. It's difficult to do face to face. And it's
even tougher to do in a letter. But it can be done. And your
chances of receiving gifts in the mail increase once you employ
some of the tested methods that are used by leading non-profit
organizations around the world.
Make your message relevant Your appeal
letter needs to talk about what's important to your donor. Like
you, donors listen to what interests them. They watch what
interests them. And they read what interests them. There is no
reason that what is important to you and what is important to
your donor cannot be the same thing.
Let me give you an example of an organization who got it wrong.
A national association raises awareness, provides services and
supports individuals affected by diabetes. Research shows that
just about every one of their donors either has diabetes or
knows someone close to them (father, wife, brother, cousin) who
does.
And yet this national organization continues to mail appeal
letters to its donors describing diabetes in the most basic
terms. "Over two million people in our country have diabetes,"
said a recent letter. "Approximately 10 % of people with
diabetes have type 1 diabetes," said another."
If you lived with diabetes and donated to this organization,
these appeal letters would be irrelevant to you, wouldn't they?
First of all, you already know about diabetes. And secondly, you
don't care that "Approximately 10 % of people with diabetes have
type 1 diabetes" as much as you care that you have it. What this
organization needs to do is Start Writing fundraising letters
that speak to their donors where they are now.
That means crafting letters that help their donors live full
lives even though they have diabetes. That means positioning
themselves in donor's minds as the single best source of
information for people who have or are affected by diabetes.
Doing that would increase their relevance--and their donations.
By making your fundraising letters more relevant to your
supporters, you will stand out amidst the many appeal letters
that your donors already receive from other charities.
Use "make-a-difference" language Donors
act like investors when they give their money away. They want to
know that their gift will produce a return on investment,
however intangible. What you are aiming to do with
"make-a-difference" language is show why the world is a better
place because of your organization.
In my local newspaper each Christmas, for example, a men's
shelter runs a small display ad that features a photo of a
homeless man seated at a dinner table at the mission, eating
Christmas turkey. The headline reads: "Christmas dinner: $2.75."
The message is clear. Give a gift of $2.75 and you'll show
compassion in a practical way to a homeless person this
Christmas. You can literally "picture" the difference your
donation will make. Try to paint a picture like that with each
fundraising letter you drop in the mail.
Empower your donors Ever heard of "donor
fatigue?" It's the phrase that fundraisers use to describe the
feeling of hopelessness that some donors get by reading
fundraising appeals from dozens of worthy causes. The weight of
the world's troubles produces in some donors a sense of
futility, believing that their small gift can't possibly change
the plight of so many people worldwide.
The way to prevent donor fatigue is to write fundraising letters
that empower your donors. "Donors are interested in you because
of what you help them do. You are their agent in their personal
mission to make the world better. That should be the topic of
all your fundraising," says Jeff Brooks, senior creative
director at the Domain Group, a direct marketing firm that
serves non-profit organizations.
Show how past donations are at work
Another powerful motivator is proof that a past gift made a
difference and continues to do so. Tell the story of the toddler
whose life was saved by the speedy reactions of a nurse.
Describe how two bikers left a life of crime and gave up drugs
thanks to the intervention of your volunteers.
What you are aiming for with the printed word is the "feel-good
factor." "When we communicate with our donors, we need to
continuously let them know how their gifts make the recipients
feel. That sense of making a meaningful difference in a needy
person's life or helping to make a needed change in the world is
the gift we give our donors," says Jeff Nickel, group vice
president for Grizzard Signature Group, a direct response
fundraising agency.
Appeal to head and heart Many donors are
ultimately motivated by their emotions more than their
intellect. But to attract and keep loyal donors, you need to
appeal to both head and heart. You need to write with passion,
appealing to each donor's sense of compassion and empathy. But
you also need to write with clear-headedness, too, mentioning
that gifts are tax-deductible, explaining how much of a donation
goes to programs and how much covers administrative expenses,
sometimes listing the rational reasons for supporting your
cause, and so on.
Raising funds by mail is not a science. Methods change because
society changes. People change. But these principles have worked
for decades, and still do. Put them to work in your next
campaign and see what happens. Drop me a line and let me know
how you get on. Reach me at [email protected]
© 2005 Sharpe Copy Inc. You may reprint this
article online and in print provided the links remain live and
the content remains unaltered (including the "About the author"
message).
About the Author
Alan Sharpe is a business-to-business direct mail copywriter. Sign up for free weekly tips like this at
www.sharpecopy.com
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